Jays Lose 2-1, Goose Gossage A No-Show: Ostensibly A Spring Recap

Goose Gossage
Photo Credit: Jonathan Dyer-USA TODAY Sports

There’s nothing more noble and super cool, if you ask me, than running your mouth to ESPN, calling someone a “fucking disgrace” to the game of baseball, saying he acts like a fool, saying that all his teammates act like fools, and then not showing up when that player’s team comes to visit the team that you are a spring training instructor for.

And that, indeed, is precisely what the stately king of cool, Rich Gossage, did tonight as the Blue Jays, and Jose Bautista, visited Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, according to the Associated Press (via the Toronto Sun). (Also: the Jays lost, but who cares?)

After all, Gossage would never be the kind of fellow to advocate any kind of violent confrontation. He’s chill, bruh! Prolly just went golfing or wagging his finger at teens.

And worrying about looking like a giant goddamn pathetic attention-seeking coward? Goose ain’t wired like that, my friend.

He’s just a simple man with simple principles: call people disgraces, piss and moan about nerds ruining the violent purity of the sport he bequeathed them, claim that you’d “like to knock some of these fuckers on their ass and see how they would do against pitchers in the old days,” then run and hide on a golf course behind your crusty porn-stache.

Way to go, Hall of Famer.

(Drew Hutchison served up some meatballs tonight, but wasn’t truly awful or anything — in fact, there were stretches where he looked pretty good. He got a lot of ground ball outs, which is a good thing, and ended up only giving up a couple of runs, via a Starlin Castro home run. The Jays made it close in the end thanks to a wicked Dalton Pompey triple in the ninth, a huge “Let’s go Blue Jays” chant erupted on the Yankees’ turf, and then it was over. Probably a bunch of other stuff happened, too.)