Photo Credit: Evan Habeeb-USA TODAY Sports
Alright buoys and gulls, I got a hankerin’ that can only by filled by frying some shit birds. So let’s do this!
Yes, the Orioles and the little general are in town, and they’re bringing with them their king shitheel, Manny Machado, who is appealing the four-game suspension that was handed down to him this afternoon by the unserious dopes at MLB for his role in this weeks fricassee against meat clown Yordano Ventura and his Kansas City Royals.
That sucks in one way, because Machado is really, really fucking good. And it… well… I think it sucks in all ways for us, most likely. I was going to say it’s kinda good because we’ll get to see him be a damn boss on the baseball field, but we have enough of those guys to watch ourselves (not that you would have known it most games this year — Josh Donaldson’s superhuman performance yesterday afternoon in Detroit not withstanding).
We certainly don’t seem to fear the Orioles the way we do the Red Sox around here, which is probably mostly because they’re trash and can’t pitch. But that’s probably a folly on our part, because what they do do well — hittinz — they do… uh… really well. Spectacularly well.
Davis is going to hit a flat Stroman fastball to the goddamn moon, is what I’m saying.
And yet the Jays got to the Red Sox for two straight series wins in recent weeks, so why the hell not do it here too? It’s not like the Jays couldn’t use clawing the Orioles back to the pack a bit. And it’s not like they’re as bad at hitting baseballs as they looked in their first two games in Detroit (or, y’know, on far too many nights so far this year). Plus, Jays-O’s? That’s always must-watch stuff. Even with Darren O’Day on the disabled list and so not available to get owned again by Jose Bautista. I’m sure someone will step up in his absence though!
You want hot draft takes? Because Drew’s got hot draft takes!
Draft opinion: I hope my team picks [the guy that looks best with the benefit of hindsight]
— Drew F (@DrewGROF) June 9, 2016
Be sure to read my Draft Primer Primer, by the way!