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Series Recap: The Blue Jays Somehow Earn Split In Anaheim

I’ve got to admit, after the first two games it looked like this was going to be a four game drubbing. But thankfully they managed to right the ship and improve to *checks notes* 10-16 over their last 16?! What happened? On Thursday, the Blue Jays found themselves in their bullpen in just the second inning…

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Ryan Borucki to make MLB debut Tuesday

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. With the season all but over and the trade deadline approaching in just over a month, we’re going to start seeing some Large Adult Sons populate the roster the rest of the way.

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Aaron Sanchez to the DL With Finger Contusion

The Blue Jays have placed Aaron Sanchez on the 10-Day Disabled List due to an index finger contusion on his throwing hand. This was the thing that knocked Sanchez out after the first inning of Thursday’s game against the Angels. Everybody knew something was a miss when he was all over the zone and didn’t…

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Roberto Osuna suspended for 75 games

The hammer was dropped. According to Shi Davidi, Major League Baseball has suspended Roberto Osuna for 75 games for violating Major League Baseball’s Joint Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Child Abuse Policy. Osuna will not appeal the suspension.

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Aaron Sanchez Leaves Start Due to Finger Injury

Aaron Sanchez had a rough first inning against the Los Angeles Angels tonight and didn’t make it out for the second. He didn’t throw a single curveball over an erratic 25-pitch frame and gave up two earned runs. After surrendering an RBI single to Albert Pujols, he glanced at his pitching hand, which obviously sent…

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Sell High On Maile And Bring Up Danny Jansen

Since I’m just drunk on this trade stuff and I feel like taking another sip from the bullshit bottle, I say sell high on Luke Maile now. I know that the beloved chosen one is a fan favourite and he’s just so nice. And he should be delivered to the All-Star game and all that…

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Oh man, check out the Large Adult Sons in the Gulf Coast League

The best thing about this season has, by far, been the success of Toronto’s farmhands. From Vlad Jr. beating the absolute piss out of Double-A to Ryan Borucki, Sean Reid-Foley, and T.J. Zeuch killing it all the way to guys like Ryan Noda and Kevin Smith breaking out at the lower levels, it’s been a…

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Series Preview: The Los Angeles Mike Trout Wasters of Anaheim!

Mike Trout has been in the Major Leagues since 2011. He’s played in 999 games and has been worth a whopping 61.2 wins above replacement. He’s not just great, he’s historically great. Since 2011, the Angels have made one playoff appearance. That’s right. The bitch-ass Angels have gobbled up the prime years of Mike fucking Trout, a dude…

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Helping Old Cleveland Friends

Back in the early nineties, I used to go down to Cleveland with my stepdad for a week to watch the Jays every summer. Cleveland played in good old Municipal Stadium back then. The stadium was big. It was empty. The pillars were like giant walls. I was too young to drink beer. And somehow,…

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Series Recap: A split with Atlanta!

For the first time since their June-opening series against Detroit, the Blue Jays weren’t involved in a sweep. They split their two-game series with Atlanta which ended a four-series streak in which the Jays either swept or were swept by the other team.