So what do all you fine humans, who click on our stuff at Blue Jays Nation, want to talk about? Because the truth is that there really isn’t much to talk about right now. I think that there are some Jays bloggers out there scratching their effing heads for ideas because the content has to keep flowing, but this season has been bad like most things trending on Twitter.
So I figured, let’s cut the shit and offer some candid thoughts about this season or what the hell to expect during the offseason or something. I mean, I could peck at the ground like a pigeon looking for food scraps on the sidewalk and type up some sort of bullshit piece about some lame Jays topic right now, but that would be boring. And boring is bad.
Earlier in the week I was bored, so I decided to go for a walk in Trinity Bellwoods Park and look for the albino squirrel. But all I saw were a couple of dudes wearing Bautista jerseys and some crusty punks doing their tall can thing. But the Bautista jerseys made me think about the good ol’ days and how great Joey Bats was and how awesome 2015 and ’16 were.
Then I started thinking about the leftovers (not the HBO show) because after the July trade deadline came and went, and when Josh Donaldson was dealt in the eleventh hour in August, not too many players from those two fun seasons remain.
From the 2015 roster only Marco Estrada, Marcus Stroman, Aaron Sanchez, Ryan Tepera, Russell Martin, Tulo (on paper), Justin Smoak, Devon Travis, Kevin Pillar, and, I guess, Dalton Pompey have survived the Blue Jays cataclysm.
I wouldn’t say that there was a sudden departure for some of the great players who helped bring back the motherfucking ruckus. But, after JD was shot off to Cleveland, the slow burn turned to grief similar to how the characters felt in HBO’s ‘The Leftovers’. A Kevin Garvey and Nora Durst kind of grief.
Decisions will be made in the future. More Jays will disappear. Get your tobacco ready.
Now, Rogers did a fine job riding the 2015 and ’16 gravy train into 2017 and ’18, but that cash has dried up and no more Donaldson jerseys are going to be sold and the gate has been slow. But, that’s no worry for the suits in that Canadian company because Vladdy Jr. will make a shitload of cash for them next year once they call him up in April (and screw him over for service time).
One thing that is certain is that the 2019 Jays aren’t going to win the World Series, but the Buffalo Bisons might win the International League Championship. So, if you live close to the Rainbow Bridge or Peace Bridge or whatever bridge, you’re a quick drive to the fun stuff that will be happening in the land of William Mattar and Coca-Cola Field.
Now, what else could I talk about? How about the Rays not the Jays? I mean, who could’ve ever predicted that the Rays would end up being 20 games over .500? Remember Rays Tank? More like Jays Tank. Tank you very much Fangraphs projections for the false hope. But at the end of the damn baseball day, it could be worse.
We could be Orioles fans.
So where did it all go wrong this season? Did it start with the Tulo bone-spur saga? Or was it the JD dead-arm tale? Or the JD will never come back again thing? Or the JD got traded for Merry-someone thing?
What’s the shittiest thing that happened that Fangraphs’ computers couldn’t project? Was it Sanchez’ issues with luggage? Stroman pitching like Mat Latos in the first half? Estrada not painting like Pablo Picasso? Or Jaime Garcia? I dunno, but the pitching was supposed to be good…shit happens. Not even a three-eyed raven could’ve seen all the shitty things that came with this year’s shit storm filled with shit winds, so there’s that.
Maybe I should write about the good that is Borucki, Reid-Foley, and Jansen. Maybe I should write about Rowdy effing Tellez. And I shouldn’t forget about Lourdes and uncle Morales, too. I guess I could go on about the battle between Shapiro/Atkins fans vs. Shatkins fans, but what’s the point…I should save that stuff for the offseason.
I guess, since I’ve been going on pretty much about nothing, I should wrap this nonsense up. But, one thing I think Jays fans should do during the last home stand against Houston is…chant:
“GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY” “GIBBY”
I hope he gives us one last ejection for that final curtain call.
Now, that’s what I should’ve written about.