Happy Thanksgiving all you hoser turkeys, eh! I know that many of you are out and about doing your out and about things, but I figured I should type up this quick Thanksgiving piece before I do my out and about hoser things.
I think that it’s important for all of us to reflect on this day and be thankful because that’s what we do here in Canada, unless you’re a knob or something. But, none of you are knobs. Maybe some of you are a couple beers short of a two-four, but you’re not knobs.
Now, ya know, we can be thankful for family and friends and all of that warm and fuzzy stuff because they’re the toques that cover the tips of our ears when it’s minus 30. But, there are plenty of other things to be thankful for that we forget to be thankful for on this great day.
We can be thankful for the big birds that we cook in the oven all day long and smother in gravy. Lots of gravy. We can be thankful for the mashed potatoes. And the pumpkin pie. Lots of pie. And, of course, beer. Lots of beer.
But, what’s more important than family, friends, food, and beer are the Toronto Blue Jays, eh. We’re not like typical hosers who only like that hockey sport. We just use that hockey sport to help us get through the winter until pitchers and catchers report to Dunedin. I’m thankful for pitchers and catchers reporting to Dunedin. I’m thankful for Dunedin, eh.
And, ya know, there really is a lot that we can be thankful for as Blue Jays fans. We can be thankful that we’re not Baltimore Oriole fans. We can be thankful for that. I’m thankful for that. We can all be thankful for the 2018 season being over. I’m thankful for that. That’s something we can all be thankful for, eh.
We can be thankful for Vladdy. He’s kind of like the Thanksgiving turkey that we’re all waiting for as it slowly cooks in the oven today. We’re all waiting for Vladdy, eh.
I’m thankful for the Jays front office not signing José Bautista to a multi-year extension. But, I’m thankful for José. I mean what hoser out there isn’t thankful for José. Thank you, José.
I’m also thankful that the Jays did not try and sign David Price to some bacon-bacon contract. I’m thankful for that. And I’m thankful Cleveland signed Edwin because I really like Nate Pearson, eh. I’m thankful for Nate Pearson. I really am.
And speaking of big Nate, eh…We can all be thankful for having one of the best farm systems in the league because it feeds us with the hope that all of us hosers need.
And since I’m talking about the farm: I’m thankful for the New Hampshire Fisher Cats’ season. I’m not sure what any of us hosers would’ve done this summer if it weren’t for tuning in and watching the future down there, eh.
So, I’m thankful for the 2018 season being over. I’m thankful for Vladdy. I’m thankful for the Fisher Cats because they were the maple syrup on the burnt pancakes we were served this year. I’m thankful that some players weren’t offered triple-triple contract extensions.
What else, eh? I will be thankful for the day that Kevin Pillar gets traded. I will be thankful for that. I will be thankful for when the Blue Jays take out some of the 40-man trash. I will be thankful for that. I will be thankful for all the future trades that will make the future Blue Jays better. I will be thankful for that. I will be thankful when Tulo and Russell Martin will be off the books. I will be thankful for that.
Now, I’m no Mister Wizard, but since it’s important to save the best for last: I’m thankful for all the hoots and hollers by ol’ Gibbers. I’m thankful for that.
And…here’s one big hoser thumbs up to Rogers because they’re the one baseball thing in Canada that all of us think should take off. So, take off, eh. And, geez, ya know, maybe one day they will.
We’ll all be thankful for that…