2

Rangers fans cling to The Punch because it’s all the have

Maybe I’m just grouchy that the Blue Jays got spanked over the weekend in Texas after an absolutely lifeless showing in Anaheim. Whatever my ultimate motivation is, I simply can’t let this just slide by. The Texas Rangers are at it again.

Rougned Odor hit a two-run homer in the second inning of Sunday afternoon’s rubber match off of Clay Buchholz that prompted the Rangers’ Twitter account to post this…

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Odor’s homer was his second of the year and his two-for-four day at the plate pushed his OPS to a whopping .465 for the season. Odor and his teammates celebrated the homer as if it pushed them to their second of back-to-back ALDS series wins, rather than a 3-0 lead in the second inning of a game in May.

I mean, I’m not one to get mad about celebrating. I love it and I think it’s great for the game. Have fun and enjoy playing a goddamn sport for a living. The dumb thing about this, though, is that it’s the Rangers, who filled so many diapers over Jose Bautista’s epic bat flip, contradicting themselves.

Maybe they learned their lessons and, uh, chilled the fuck out? Maybe they realized that they were, as I said, playing a fuckin’ sport for a living and celebrating is normal? Maybe, after cleaning up all of the piss on the ground they had left over the past couple years, they realized life is too short to, you know, piss yourself all the time?

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

But no! The Rangers are out here still celebrating the goddamn punch. Why?!? Because it’s all they have.

I don’t know if you know this, but the Texas Rangers have never won the World Series. So not only does obsessing over Odor trying and failing to punch out Bautista predictably tickle the fancy of yer standard gun-toting, truck-driving, climate-change-denying, hyperaggressive small dick Texas weirdo, the fans legitimately have nothing else to celebrate.

Honestly, it’s so cringe-worthy at this point I don’t even know what to say. Like, you’ll still see fans on Twitter posting The Punch in response to random, non-Bautista or Blue Jays related things. It’s so easy to go in there and respond “lol the Rangers have never won the World Series” or post a video of the bat flip of Odor’s error and the Donaldson Dash or even Nelson Cruz fucking up in 2011, but why even bother?

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Maybe it’s best just to let them have this one thing.