Blue Jays Unveil Awful Red Jerseys For Sunday Home Games

Image via the great @Sportslogosnet/Chris Creamer

Woof.

I’m sure there is plenty data that’s telling the Blue Jays that it does good things, nationally, for their brand when they play up the Canada angle — by which I, of course, mean, “when they shove ‘the Canada angle’ down our throats as a cynical marketing ploy” — but there’s problem when it comes to draping the Blue Jays in our national colours and decorating them with the maple leaf: it always looks like shit.

Always. And the new alternate jerseys that the club revealed today, which will be worn on Canada Day and for all Sunday home games, are no exception.

Yes, yes, they’re just shirts and who really cares? But on the other hand, fuck off with this shit already!

I’m sorry that your team’s beautiful and perfect uniforms are not conducive to flag-baiting without looking unnatural as fuck, but… I dunno… maybe just live with it?

I mean, do the Maple Leafs have to wear red to expand their brand across the country? Should the Yankees and the Lakers and the Cowboys shoehorn in a bunch of stars and stripes to increase their national appeal? Why doesn’t Manchester United, or some other cheeky club, appropriate the Union Jack for their kit?

I’ll give you one good reason: that shit would all look like trash. Not unlike these ham-fisted monochrome Jays abominations.

Think of all the best, most iconic uniforms in sports. The Habs, the Blackhawks, the Celtics, the Cardinals, and on and on and on and on. What unifies the aesthetic best-of-the-best is pretty simple: you get it right, and then you quit fucking with it.

You already have it right, Blue Jays. Quit fucking with it.