It’s All Fortnite Madness

The Jays are heading into their final stretch of spring training games, as Charlie’s ship has set sail. There has been a hypnotist, maybe a ventriloquist, or even a contortionist to help the players bond and have a laugh. But, there is news breaking that is no laughing matter:

Let the great debate begin:

If a player is missing BP because he is in a heated game of Fortnite, I think that’s a problem. If the young adult sons have a Fortnite addiction, it’s best that they sober up. If they can’t put down the remote, it’s time for a Charlie intervention.

It’s video game madness – I tell ya. Who do these MLBers think they are? They are not professional League of Legends players. They are professional baseball players.

Actually, wait…it’s all starting to make sense, ya know, the whole ‘blister’ thing. It’s not the MLB baseballs. It’s the Fortnite. The Fortnite in every MLB clubhouse. Goddamn those remote controls.

This is the breaking news of the day. The breaking news that isn’t as eye-rolling as this:

Fingers big time effing crossed that Pardinho won’t need to undergo Tommy John surgery. Let’s hope that he doesn’t need that Ulnar collateral ligament reconstruction. Let’s hope that his tendon is okay. Let’s hope that he has a healthy season in Lansing. Let’s hope…right?

…Is Spring Training over yet?