Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports obtained a memo from MLB this week about an odd thing the league is planning for August.

This zany scheme has a chance to be as legendary as the league’s cringe-worthy 1999 Turn Ahead The Clock promotion. But only if they do it right.

And by “right,” I mean if they listen to me!

“Typical,” “organic,” “normal” nicknames are mostly boring. Let’s spice it up a bit! Add a little pizzazz where we can! And while I can’t provide this service to the entire league without some kind of major compensatory deal in place *COUGH*, I can show MLB that I’m serious, and that I’ve got the goods on this one by going through the Toronto Blue Jays roster and telling you what each player’s nickname jersey should read.

Please don’t @ me…