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Predicting The Blue Jays’ 2018 #Hashtag
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Ryan Di Francesco
Mar 18, 2018, 16:00 EDTUpdated: Mar 19, 2018, 07:47 EDT
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This is some serious satirical stuff that I’m typing up here because I’m bored and just want the season to start already. I appreciate all the hardworking folks who are a part of the Blue Jays’ PR team. Actually, I appreciate all hardworking humans. Period. But, I feel like having a little fun on this lazy Sunday – hopefully you stayed clear of all the shitty green beer last night – and I want to come up with some hyperbolic sort of trash about what the 2018 Blue Jays hashtag is going to be.
So, the Blue Jays PR team has had all winter to try to think up some kind of catchy hashtag for this season. I’m sure they have a narrowed-down list that they are mulling over as we inch toward the beginning of the 2018 season – or maybe not. Maybe they have abandoned the shitty idea of having a hashtag. Maybe they have realized it’s just too easy for fans to shit on it. Maybe they have given up the hashtag. Maybe…
The #LetsRise was an easy one for all of us fans to poke fun at, take the piss out of, and mock, since last season was a year of dogshit injuries, as more than half the team’s salary sat on the injured golden bench. 2017 was a shitty season that was full of garbage breaks, dumb injuries and #FuckThis moments.
So, where will the Blue Jays PR team go from here? I have no fuckin’ clue, but I’m pretty curious to see what the think team thinks up over in Blue Jays land. They could look to some eighties hair metal bands and roll out something like Precious Metal’s album (not Van Halen’s song – Right Now) #RightHereRightNow… ugh. Or maybe, they could go with Kik Tracee’s 1991 album #NoRules… Or if it’s for Bobby Manfred, it could be #NewRules – badum tish (insert eighties sitcom laugh track).
Now, the good people on the Blue Jays’ PR team could go with a classic Alice Cooper album (and Blue Jays Nation slogan) #Trash – I dunno. But, it might send the wrong message because this hashtag should only be used for the other teams in the AL East.
If they were going to think up some sort of hashtag that reflected the corporate Rogers owners, I think that Warrant’s 1989 #Dirty,Rotten,Filthy,StinkingRich works, but the focus should be on the team and not shitty Rogers.
Okay, in all seriousness, what will the good PR people think of? They could get inspired by a little yippee-ki-yay Bruce Willis and roll out #DieHard – or #DieHardWithaVengeance. Maybe, but this one could send mixed messages… hmm.
#TheyLive? Who didn’t love John Carpenter’s Roddy Piper classic? After I watched this movie as a kid, I would pretend that my sunglasses could see social elite skull-faced aliens. They couldn’t, but I believed they could. I was bored, it was the eighties, I didn’t have a Nintendo yet, so I relied heavily on my imagination to get me through a Saturday afternoon.
But, this hashtag could work because if all the things that the Blue Jays need to go right this season actually happen, this team is certainly going to be alive in the wild card hunt, but it’s a hell of a lot of ifs at this point…I think this shitty idea should be scratched.
In 2015, the PR people looked to the Beatles with a little #ComeTogether and that shit worked out well because 2015 was the greatest goddamn baseball thing that happened to this country in decades.
Now, if the season goes sideways early and fast like it did last April, #Hello,Goodbye from the Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour could be appropriate come the trade deadline, but let’s not go there. The season hasn’t started and we’re going to be as optimistic as we can because being pessimistic kind of sucks.
But, let me try and get a little realistic and find a Beatles song that could work… #Don’tLetMeDown? Probably not. Ah, maybe #IAmTheWalrus? That would be a bold statement – like, hey, don’t-fuck-with-us kind of shit, but that’s a lot of pressure to live up to. If you’re going to be the fuckin’ Walrus, you’re going to have to kick some serious AL East ass.
Now, I’m guessing that since they already did it in the Beatles road back in ’15, they probably won’t go there again. But, there is one Canadian band that I can think of, which the Blue Jays’ PR team could look to for a little inspiration when choosing the hashtag that will be hashtagged a million times over this summer: The Tragically Hip.
Gord Downie is a proper Canadian legend and when he passed last fall, it hit us all in different ways. I remember I went out that night to a local watering hole and asked the bartender for a Gord Downie and he poured me a heavy-handed Jameson. It was perfect.
The Blue Jays could dig around in the land of the Hip and go with #Courage. Simple and easy and pays tribute to the great Gord Dowine and the Hip. Or, they could dive into some Road Apples – my favourite album – and go with #BringItAllBack. I’m just thinking out loud here, but something Hip-inspired could work.
But, if they don’t bark up the Hip tree, they could just roll with a little Journey and #Don’tStopBelievin’ – and don’t fuckin’ roll your eyes – it’s a classic we all secretly love and know the lyrics to…or I’m just really dating myself here…ugh.
We are all waiting on the edge of our seats to see what this year’s PR team puts together and it better be fucking dramatic and it better be fucking awesome. I hope it’s a great cliché – a great something that has us all hashtagging the shit out of it on Twitter.

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