The Blue Jays cruised to victory in Game One of the ALDS over the Texas Rangers on Thursday and, oh man, it was damn delicious.
Of course, the Rangers won Game One of last year’s ALDS match-up between these two teams, and we all know how that turned out, so maybe we shouldn’t get too enthusiastic just yet. But on the other hand… fuck that! Thursday was great! And the Rangers played like trash! So let’s celebrate that, and if the Jays end up screwing this up and Rangers fans come laughing at us for being taunting dickheads after one lousy game… meh. That’s just sort of how we have fun, isn’t it?
I don’t know! But what I do know is that the reimagination of Jose Bautista and Rougned Odor’s tussle back in May that we see above — marvellously put together by Bryce Wood (aka @woodymlb4) — should rightfully be on the roof of the Sistine Chapel!
And what about these Garbage Pail Rangers below!
They were sent my way by Emily Waugh, who back in the bad old days of May 2013, as the Jays’ big off-season moves were imploding in a cloud of dirt kicked up by a foot-first Jose Reyes slide, made an outstanding Don’t Boo The Home Team video that you might remember. A noble pursuit, to be sure, but I like this turn towards the Garbage Pail side even better! (I don’t have to explain to some of you teens what Garbage Pail Kids are, do I?)
Of course, not ever work of art on Thursday required paint and canvas (or, y’know, Photoshop). A whole lot of it was on the field — not the least of which was Jose Bautista’s pitch perfect troll job when he laid down his bat following his three-run blast in the top of the ninth…
Bautista’s bat drop. pic.twitter.com/pU3ycNCvWH
— Ian Hunter (@BlueJayHunter) October 6, 2016
Is that OK for you guys? Did that hurt your widdle feewings? Can I just set my bat down like this for you?
It is inconceivable to me that anyone could have illustrated any better how ridiculous the Rangers’ hatred of fun truly is. Bravo.
There were other dimensions to Bautista’s homer, too:
— Bliss Nogueira (@blissnogueira) October 7, 2016
Truth! And also… um… I think I have some bad news for Rangers fans about their Christmas:
Oh. Hey bro. So… uh… how’d that work out for ya?
That doesn’t even make sense pic.twitter.com/N888Omtmzx
— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) October 6, 2016
Lastly, if you’re into sweet visuals, go check out the latest at FanGraphs from Jeff Sullivan, who breaks down six of the Rangers’ worst swings against Marco Estrada and his preposterous changeup. Because, hoo boy, that was an unbelievable performance from Acestrada — something we’ve started to get a little bit used to in the playoffs. Sullivan offers a nice, simple explanation of why that might be, too:
Marco Estrada is a finesse pitcher, and as a general rule, finesse pitchers are worse than non-finesse pitchers. But the best ones — they succeed in part because of their own abilities to locate, but they succeed also by turning hitters against their own selves. Power pitchers force a hitter to shorten up. Finesse pitchers tempt a hitter to lengthen. They tempt hitters to come out of their shoes, as if a 500-foot homer means more than its 400-foot equivalent. Facing a Marco Estrada is a test in self-discipline. As we’ve all experienced for ourselves, when pressure starts to mount, self-discipline can unravel.
Sure! Or… whatever it was, we’ll take it! Yu Darvish is still going to be a hell of a mountain to climb on Friday, so Texas could be right back into this quick. But until that happens, oh man, this is kind of fun, isn’t it?
And if it turns out the Jays can maybe figure out how to hit again? Oh man!