The wind has picked up on this Friday afternoon. Spring’s arrival is maybe not so imminent as we thought. Bitter cold is on its way.
Sounds like a perfect situation for us to warm up with some goddamn hot fire tweets, and here comes Kevin Pillar to the rescue!
First, though, meet Bill. He’s, according to his Twitter bio, the editor of the sports section of the Cambridge Times — as in Cambridge, Ontario, outside of Kitchener-Waterloo. He is also, according to the giant picture of Red Sox championship rings he uses as his background photo, a Red Sox fan.
Hey, man. Whatever. That’s cool. You be you.
What Bill is certainly not is a Kevin Pillar fan. Or maybe he likes Kevin just fine, in the overall, but there is one aspect of Pillar’s game that Bill definitely doesn’t like: his dives. And he’s not afraid to say it, either!
Let’s watch what happens…
I don't understand. Was that 86% of center fielders make that catch? or 86% don't? https://t.co/EEbUTyJU0a— Blue Jays from Away (@JaysFromAway) March 10, 2017
Half of Pillar's dives are unwarranted— Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017
Fascinating statistic. Please show me the source. https://t.co/mkTbL6R5Ze— John Lott (@LottOnBaseball) March 10, 2017
visual— Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017
Ah cool, that checks out. Carry on.— Tyler Campbell (@tyleracampbell) March 10, 2017
see. Verified— Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017
Note: Bill sometimes doesn’t get sarcasm. Perhaps I should have mentioned that earlier.
So you “see" Pillar unnecessarily & deliberately beating up his body and risking hurting his team on 50% of his dives? Quite the insight. https://t.co/wjfCFKzUPy— John Lott (@LottOnBaseball) March 10, 2017
I'm sure in his mind he thinks he needs to, but he has speed and seems to get a good jump on the ball.— Bill Doucet (@Bill_Doucet) March 10, 2017
Aaaaand the payoff…
I'm sure bill was a really good outfielder in his day 😉 https://t.co/b5aDDluEZx— Kevin Pillar (@KPILLAR4) March 10, 2017
ZANG! SNORT! OOF! KA-BLAMMO! Roasted!
Hey, so I guess this one was one of the other 50%, eh Bill?
Let’s maybe leave the Zaun-esque takes where they belong: at Hemingways.