This Brett Lawrie-Ketchup Chips Weirdness Really Deserves Its Own Post

If you can believe it, I was going to just slip this item into a Daily Duce I’m currently working on. This!:

Pour it on! Canadians love Ketchup Chips more than any other nation on earth. They are an essential part of our national snack psyche and our collective red-stained fingers are a delicious symbol of our patriotic passion. But there has always been something missing… until now. Just in time for Canada’s 150th birthday, Pringles is introducing Ketchup Chips. It’s about time, eh?!

While Pringles may be late to the Ketchup Chip party, it’s aiming to be the first to achieve a crazy, ketchup-covered world record. In the lead-up to National Ketchup Day (June 5), the Pringles Ketchup Slippery Slide will glide into downtown Toronto on Saturday, June 3, at the corner of Front St. W. and Simcoe St. Beginning at noon, Ketchup Chip fanatics will suit up in ketchup-resistant coveralls, helmets and goggles and hurl themselves down a 50-foot slippery slide covered in ketchup. In addition to expressing their love for Ketchup Chips, participants will help Pringles set a unique world record – “The Most Canadians to Slip Down a Ketchup Slippery Slide in One Hour.”

The Pringles Ketchup Slippery Slide event will be hosted by self-proclaimed Ketchup Chip keener, enthusiastic slider and former Toronto Blue Jays star, Brett Lawrie. “Ketchup Chips are seriously one of my all-time favourite chip flavours,” says Lawrie. “Playing in the show means spending a lot of time outside of the true north strong and free, and they’re one of the things that I miss most. I’m amped up to see Ketchup Chip fans on the Pringles Ketchup Slippery Slide and be part of such a flavourful celebration of Canada’s 150th birthday. It’s slide time!”

It may be a mere press release from a marketing company, but how could I have looked myself in the mirror and say that this was a mere Duce-worthy story? I mean… honestly.

And kudos to whoever is behind Pringles’ P.R. strategy here, because bringing on unemployed baseball player and all-around Instagram lunatic Brett Lawrie — aka “self-proclaimed Ketchup Chip keener” Brett Lawrie — is a bit of a goddamned masterstroke.

To whoever you are, I think Brett speaks for us all*:

(*The saluting part anyway.)

Lawrie will be available to talk to the media at the event, and I cannot emphasize to you enough how quickly a certain writer for this site put the wheels in motion to go and cover it. So stay tuned and bring a change of pants!! Because Brett Lawrie has a World Record to break!

And it… uh… involves people sliding down a 50 foot ketchup-covered slip ‘n slide, or something…

UPDATE: I have been given a correction: