Okay, I have no idea how legitimate this report is, but according to a baseball reporter  out of Mexico, Jose Bautista is signing with the Houston Astros.

I mean, it’s got a green stamp of approval, so it’s gotta be true!

Anyways, I really hope this is legitimate because I can’t think of a better place for Joey Bats to wind up than with the Astros, you know, the one team from Texas with a World Series win.

The idea of Bautista owning the Rangers all summer (assuming he actually, you know, rebounds and isn’t 2017 Jose) is glorious. Also, the idea of him winning the World Series with Houston is quite pleasant.

This is a hell of a lot better than watching him rot away in front of 740 fans at Tropicana Field, I think. If it’s true! Which it might not be!