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The Large Adult Son Has Arrived in Dunedin

It’s Family Day weekend in most parts of Canada, and the thicc-est member of the Blue Jays family has arrived today. The 80-bat king of the sons is ready to murder some grapefruit balls, as every fan continues to gush and take hard swigs from the bottle of Vlad.

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Blue Jays projected to have a 2019 payroll of $108.5 million

Imagine a baseball organization that went out and spent money just because they could? Wouldn’t that be some cool shit? Imagine being a fan of a team that doesn’t give a shit about the luxury tax? Wouldn’t that be some cooler shit? Imagine the two best 26-year-old free agents not being signed by the time…

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Baseball is finally (sort of) back!

As the ice pelts our faces and winter hurricanes throw their big winter middle fingers at every person living in cold regions on this planet, (most of) the best baseball players are heading south to Florida to rip and flippin’ roar on the diamonds – trying to impress their skip for a roster spot.

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Vlad season is almost upon us

There is nothing better than winter days, snowstorms, and the cold air eating your face. I mean, what Canadian doesn’t love to wake up in the early morning to the beautiful dark sky? And what Canadian doesn’t love to leave work to the beautiful dark sky, too? It sincerely is the most wonderful time of…

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The Jays Should Go After The Sexiest Free Agent

Reader discretion: This is a satirical post that may offend some readers. There is graphic content in this text of explicit sexual nature and risible thought. Jays fans have been banging the ‘sign Bryce Harper you cowards’ drum all offseason. And now some fans are even banging the ‘sign Manny Machado you cowards’ drum, too….

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Space Cowboys: A John Gibbons and Tim Leiper Adventure

(I decided to take a month off because of the long season ahead and because I needed to get away from the noise for a bit, to be honest. But, it’s time to get back in the mix again. Here’s an offseason fictional tale for you on this January day.) *** A neon Coors Light…

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Talkin’ Offseason Baseball With Mark Shapiro

When I was a kid, I grew up on Roehampton Avenue in St. Catharines. A small street in the North End of Niagara’s capital city, or something like that. It was only a couple of blocks from Facer St., which is still home to St. Joseph’s Bakery where you will find the best slice of…

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Where do Stroman and Sanchez fit in Toronto’s long-term plans?

It wasn’t that long ago when Aaron Sanchez was a part of a three-headed pitching monster in Lansing, as Sanchez, Nicolino, and Syndergaard dominated Low-A ball in the Midwest League back in 2012. And while the three-headed monster was making noise in Michigan’s capital like some 2K12 ‘Ho Hey’ folk rock band, Marcus Stroman, who…

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Dreaming of capitalizing on a Mariners fire sale

It’s fun to stare off into nowhere land and dream about being somewhere else. Maybe somewhere tropical, or somewhere that’s just far enough away from it all. It’s fun not to think about work and what has to be done. It’s fun to do anything other than some mundane office task, or whatever kind of…