Remember the good old days when the Yankees were sorta kinda bad for a few years?

After Derek Jeter’s retirement, the Yankees only made the playoffs once in a four-year span, and, in 2016 blew their team up at the trade deadline. But, since it’s the Yankees, they snapped their fingers and rebuilt before everyone’s eyes and now they’re back on top again.

Are there any holes on this team? Can anything go wrong? Or are we slowly wading into a new era of Yankee dominance?

The Yankees were better than anybody realistically expected them to be during their rebuilding 2018 season. They went to game seven of the goddamn ALCS and they were supposed to be, like, giving young guys a shot and going through growing pains.

Aaron Judge had an obscene breakout season in which he smashed 52 bombs and finished second in American League MVP voting. But while Judge was in the spotlight on broadway, there were a handful of other breakout performances that flew under the radar. Luis Severino emerged as the team’s ace, posting a 2.98 ERA over 31 starts, which was good enough to have him finish fourth in Cy Young voting. Gary Sanchez was totally blocked out by Judge’s massive shadow, but he produced a .876 OPS and clubbed 33 bombs.

Then, of course, the Yankees went out and got better last winter. Their old pal Derek did them a solid and unloaded NL MVP runner-up and 59-homer half-human-half-cyborg Giancarlo Stanton on them just because he figured it would be cool to watch him hit a ball from the Bronx to Saturn from his cozy office overlooking a team bring in cash with its $20 payroll.

Are there any holes on this team? The lineup is stupid good. Even if Judge’s rookie year was an anomaly the he strikes out in every single at bat next year and Stanton gets hurt (which he does a lot!) there’s a lot of depth to work with. The rotation is strong, like, good-not-great, as the Yankees failed to add a marquee starter in the off-season, but the ‘pen is great and can compensate for it. It’s hard to imagine this team not winning 100 games.

Like I just said, New York wasn’t able to accomplish their goal of adding a top-of-the-rotation starter this winter. They struck out on Shohei Ohtani and ended up just re-upping CC Sabathia to a one-year deal. Ha ha! Fuck you, Yankees! But wait! That means they’ll have a wheelbarrow full of cash to throw at *whispers* Clayton Kershaw next winter. Or, if they don’t want to go that route, they can use one of their many top prospects they have stacked up in the system to get a good arm through a trade.

Fuck that. Fuck all of it straight to hell.

But yeah, 2018. The Yankees. They have Severino, who was very good in 2017, taking over for Masahiro Tanaka, who was pretty bad in 2017, as the team’s ace. Tanaka got better as the season went on, but it seems like his arm could literally fall off at any given moment. The rest of the rotation will be rounded out by Sonny Gray, who will be in his first full season in New York, Sabathia, old and reliable, and Jordan Montgomery, who was really solid in his rookie season last year.

The Yankees’ starting rotation should be pretty good but it could be bad if Tanaka’s arm falls off and Severino and Montgomery have sophomore slumps. But even if it is bad, they have a pretty-much-surefire-extremely-good bullpen there to back it up.

Aroldis Chapman is pencilled in as the team’s closer and the road to get there features a lot of weapons. Dellin Betances, a four-time all-star, could be the eighth inning guy, Chad Green, who enjoyed a very good breakout season, could slide into that role, and David Robertson, who was money after being re-acquired from the White Sox, could be used in an Andrew Miller esque Moment of Truth type role in which he comes into whatever random high leverage situation deemed necessary. If any of them falter, there’s solid arms like Tommy Kahnle and Chasen “Yes, that’s my real name” Shreve” available in depth.

*wanking off motion*

This lineup is going to hit a whole bunch of bombs. Last year, they led baseball with 241, and while there’s a fair chance Judge regresses, they’ll be adding Stanton to the mix. Bombs. Bombs. More bombs.

Brett Gardner is effective in the leadoff role, then you get into murderer’s row with Judge, Stanton, and Sanchez. After that, you’ll have Didi Gregorious who can suddenly hit 20+ homers, Neil Walker, another home run guy who was grabbed from the bargain bin a couple weeks ago, and Brandon Drury, who’s probably the weak point in the lineup. He’s just warming the spot for Manny fuckin’ Machado because we live in a simulated version of hell.

In unfortunate new for the Yankees and fortunate news for all that is good in the world, Greg Bird will miss six-to-eight weeks of action, so the team is rolling into the season with some adversity. They don’t have a good lefty 1B bat to slide in there immediately, but the Yankees could explore using Judge or Stanton at first base, which would open up an outfield spot for a prospect like Clint Frazier.

What do you want me to say? The Yankees are more than likely going to be very good this season. The only scenario in which they won’t be good is if Judge was actually a mirage last season and Stanton can’t stay on the field. If that’s the case, the team is pretty underwhelming. But it isn’t good if you’re baking on two guys who combined for more than 100 homers in 2017 to become pumpkins in 2018.