Photo Credit: Sportsnet

Gregg Zaun Makes Nonsensical Comments About Marcus Stroman

Fans of sitting with their jaws agape incredulously asking how? and why? got a treat from Sportsnet’s broadcast following Sunday’s Blue Jays victory over the Anahim, as “manalyst” Gregg Zaun defended the honour of the Angels who not only lost to Marcus Stroman, but also had to endure him celebrating and yelling and being excited about it.

Poor babies!

Here’s the clip (via Reddit):

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For those who’d rather read it, a transcription:

There’s no reason for it, it’s an unsportsmanlike way to behave. You just dominated somebody. Just high five your teammates and go back in the clubhouse and celebrate. I don’t understand why the jumping around, the flashy, the showboating, the rubbing it in people’s face. Whether you’re talking to them or not, the fact that you’re looking at them and screaming and hollering, it just — it ruins a perfectly good day. For people like me, it just ruins a perfectly good day. I just don’t get it. You can be pleased with yourself, you can be excited, but there’s a certain way to behave on a Major League Baseball field, and there’s ways not to do it. And, you know what? Eventually it’s going to come around. And unfortunately there’s no reason to draw a bigger target on your back, when you’re a Major League Baseball player. When you’re good, people want to beat you — they already want to beat you enough. Why make it worse? Why draw more attention to yourself based on something that you have control over that has nothing to do with your performance on the field. I just don’t understand it. Maybe it’s this new generation, everybody’s got to have that ‘dig me’ moment.

The key line here, for me, is this one: “there’s a certain way to behave on a Major League Baseball field, and there’s ways not to do it.”

Zaun, and all the dinosaurs like him, aren’t really complaining about behaviour. Think of how nuts it would be if he actually felt like his day was ruined because Marcus Stroman was excited that he won a ballgame! Is Gregg Zaun genuinely implying that he’s a total fucking baby, or that the Angels are so unbelievably soft that no one ought to dare celebrate the “wrong way” in front of them, lest their fragile little minds be snapped by the “disrespect”? I don’t think that’s what he’s doing. I think what he’s doing is complaining about the loss of his ability to dictate how players behave. You know, like the way he once bragged about Cal Ripken and crew using literal physical violence to keep him in line.

Ho ho ho! The good old days!

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Crazy that the younger generation he laments may have decided that a little showboating isn’t so bad, and perhaps not deserving of a fastball in the ribs or physical intimidation at the hands of one’s own teammates, isn’t it?

Er… that is, the younger generation and Jason Grilli, whose screaming, fist-pumping celebrations (which are awesome) surely have been ruining days for Zaun ever since he arrived in Toronto a year ago — though I don’t recall hearing of him being this much of a pisspants about it. (Full disclosure: mercifully, because I watch games through MLB.tv, I don’t ever have to see Zaun. So it’s possible he’s complained about Grilli, too.)

Also, y’know, not to kick a guy while I’m kicking him, but just how much credibility on “sportsmanship” does Mr. “I gave my teammate a blank cheque for a gambling debt and I have no idea how it ended up with a steroid dealer” think he has? Or even removing that unseemly episode from the equation, does Gregg Zaun: Fun Police sound like something any of us can reconcile? Because I’m pretty sure when he’s not doing the Zaun Cherry thing on TV, Gregg’s out there having a hell of a time.

There’s also this:

And another thing! If there’s room for a big leaguer to “make it worse” against a certain pitcher he especially doesn’t like because of the guy’s showboating, he probably needs to be asking himself some hard questions about where that extra motivation is against every other pitcher, y’know? Do teams take it easier on less demonstrative pitchers? Shit, I think I’ve found a new market inefficiency!

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But again, of course, it’s not about that. It’s not actually serious — which isn’t to excuse the uncomfortable ease with which these sorts of complaints almost always (or at least disproportionately) just happen to involve black or Latino players — it’s about control. About the fact that the damn kids aren’t listening to their elders. And it’s about the fact that losing that control is a signal of the irrelevance of all kinds of things these dinosaurs once held dear, that the game is passing them by, and that they’re inching each day closer to the cornfield.

Or at least that’s my armchair psychoanalysis based on all the other damn times this sort of horseshit has become a thing. And about that: uh… from now on, can we maybe just fucking not?

The Angels aren’t such children that they can’t take a couple shouts from the pitcher who just beat them. No need to defend them from that big meany Marcus, Gregg.

  • Barry

    I look forward to Part 2 of this post tomorrow, after Zaun puts his stamp of approval on whichever Angels pitcher drills at Blue Jay hitter in the ribs to retaliate for Stroman being happy. (Because the way they were looking at Stroman after the game, I’ve got a feeling that’s what’s coming. After Chavez gets knocked out of the game, of course. I can’t see him throwing at someone.)

  • Maggie25

    Thank you. I have no problem with players (or non-players) who don’t like celebrating or think it’s annoying or whatever, even though I don’t agree with them. It’s that they feel the need to police everyone else’s behaviour that really aggravates me. Now that Mike Trout is good at everything else, maybe his next goal should be to the best in the world at celebrating whenever he does something great.

  • The Humungus

    Here’s what I wrote on facebook yesterday as it was happening:

    “Zaun Cherry doing some serious “these damn millennials” shit on the post-game today.”

    But seriously, I don’t have MLB.tv, I watch nearly every game on Sportsnet, and Zaun literally never has said anything about Grilli.

    He also never said a word about “The Bat Flip”, either.

    I’m going to guess he was mad because someone insulted the salmon suit on twitter and he wanted to take the piss out of millenials everywhere.

    Regardless, I wish they’d fire him (out of a cannon. into the sun) and move Tabby to the studio table with Jamie. Tabby is so much better when he’s not trying to speak in the moment and actually has time to think and articulate his thoughts well before he opens his mouth.

  • Rayzor

    I said it before…Zaun needs to shit his piehole and get over himself! And for the record….Cherry pisses me off too!!! Go bury your head in the sand and let the boys play!!!!

  • allstev

    Like a pitcher showboating is anything new, anyone else remember Eckersley finger gunning the dugout in the ALCS? It just made Robbie’s jack that much sweeter.

  • Will Murray

    At least he didn’t go back to the well and say the solution to this was a return to hazing.

    But, seriously, the hell with it at this point. He’s overshot the moon on the Zaun Cherry stuff. You can’t even satirize it, anymore. The reality leaves no more room for hyperbole. Unfortunately, there’s still an audience for his shtick. Hopefully over time it shrinks and we can be rid of his over the top nonsense. He belongs at the end of the bar bending the ear of whatever poor sap is stuck next to him, not on a national television network as the main studio analyst.

  • fred2

    Gregg Zaun looks more and more like a cross between Liberace and an Amish pastor. It’s a weird look, even by the standards of the small and bizarre “macho men who dress in your granny’s drapes” school of Canadian sports commentary.

  • lukewarmwater

    This is the problem these old farts are living in the 1960’s man, probably thinking of the 50th anniversary of the summer of love this summer, Jefferson Airplane, Jimmy Hendrix the Stones, Monterey festival. This Dude Zaun has to chill out man, get with the times, old Bob sang it the times are a changing. The kid is exuberant, he wants to win, he gets excited, he shows passion kind of a P.K. Subban and we all know what happened to him when he got a little tooo uppity and showed off on the ice for the Habs. Btw P.K. sends his regards to the Habs on the 13th green today. I was talking to the grandson and some of his millenial friends and damn realised I was more than triple their age. I thought do I give them the old taking those young whipper snappers out behind the wood shed routine to supposably tell them the way it was done in the good old days, or do I do my Drake immitation of YOU USE TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHONE. I chose the latter.
    Grandpa Lukewarmwater.

  • My son is also named bort

    Why is this so hard to figure out by you people. Joey batts and grilli = old, paid there dues, been around the block (hello). Stroman =rookie,young punk, barely noticeable, a fly on the wall. If he wins the cy young. Sure, You won something.Go grilli, But watching him get pumped like a goof / Brett lawie isn’t that great to watch. If Dylan bundy did that after that one game in the beginning y’all be pist and so would Jose. Also This story seems to be marketed towards dumb millennials and your sucking up to them.

    • Sammy the Bull

      And who decides how much experience a player has to have accrued in order to be permitted to celebrate in the manner in which they choose? You? Zaun? Some other old white guy?

      I tend to live by the mantra of “live and let live”, unless the actions of a particular party are harmful to others. Celebrating does fall into that category.

      • My son is also named bort

        It’s common sense which most people don’t have. Pay your dues first. It’s that simple. If you don’t and try to pimp it you’ll get crowned out. Look up : Edmonton oilers rookie nail yakupovs first NHL goal( a big deal, sorta liking winning your first mlb game as a pitcher).

  • Sammy the Bull

    Older, less relevant white man finds actions of younger, more relevant, and soon to be much, much wealthier black man “disrespectful” and “inappropriate” — news at 11.

    But let’s not get it twisted — Gregg Zaun loves black people — he thinks everybody should own at least one.