It’s hard to call them rivals because the relationship has been very one-sided, but the Blue Jays will head to Arlington to dispose of some trash, or, well, play Rangers for three games this weekend.

Matt Moore is playing for the Texas Rangers now? Huh. The more you know. Moore tossed four innings in his season debut against the Astros. He allowed four runs on seven hits but didn’t walk anybody, so he basically picked up where he left off last year. In 2017 with the Giants, Moore posted a 5.52 ERA and allowed the most runs in the National League. He’s far from the dominant pitcher he was back in his early days with Tampa Bay. Going for Toronto will be Marco Estrada, who’s had some good times at Arlington. Game 3 of the 2015 ALDS and Game 1 of the 2016 ALDS immediately come to mind as Estrada’s soft-tossing-and-corner-painting has always fucked with the Rangers.

Mike Minor resurrected his career as a reliever with the Kansas City Royals last season after not pitching in the Major Leagues for two years. He managed to turn a 2.55 ERA in 77 innings into a two-year deal worth roughly $16 million with Texas. In his first start of the season, and first big league start since 2014 with Atlanta, Minor allowed two runs over four-and-a-third innings. He’ll go against Marcus Stroman, who was tagged for four runs in five innings against the Yankees in his season debut. All of that damage came in one inning, otherwise Stroman was effective against New York.

Cole Hamels didn’t face the Jays in either of the teams’ two meetings last season. That means the last time he faced the Jays came on Oct. 6, 2016 in Arlington. I have fond memories of that game. It involved the Jays putting 10 runs on the board and sucking the life of the stadium as Rangers fans realized they were going to get the piss kicked out of them in the playoffs yet again. Jaime Garcia will start for the Jays in the series finale Sunday. He was excellent in his Jays debut against the White Sox, allowing just one run over six strong innings.

Games between the Jays and Rangers are always a good time because, like I said earlier, the rivalry has been so hilariously one-sided. Rangers fans enjoy basking in Rougned Odor’s punch as a distraction from the reality they are so, so, soooo owned by the Blue Jays that they have to buy the city of Toronto a gift on Father’s Day. Boo as much as you’d like, call us and the team and the city classless, whatever. We’ll take our playoff wins and you can keep your full diapers.

That said, it’s very sad that Jose Bautista won’t be playing in this series. I think it’s going to really settle in watching the Jays in Texas that Jose, the Blue Jays position player GOAT, is no longer with the team. I look forward to listening to Rangers fans try to drown their owner with boos because it reminds me of just how hard he owned them in both of those two glorious playoff series victories.

Let’s make the Rangers soil themselves in public, as per tradition, for Jose.