Vlad Jr’s Steamer projections are potentially NSFW

We’re now into November, which means hot stove talk is going to heat up. The best and worst thing about these coming weeks will be the incessant paper championships being handed out and then revoked because baseball is perfect and predictable. Pitchers and catchers are still approximately 15 years away from reporting, so something has to fill that void, right?

FanGraphs just released their 2019 steamer projections, and of course, one question comes to mind:

How can we make this about Vlad?

Do we talk about the 19-year-old too much? Obviously, but this fanbase hasn’t seen a prospect this hyped since uh, Travis Sn- yeah never mind fuck that, let’s just keep this moving.

There’s no question that the phenom could have contributed this year, but due to the business of baseball, we had to resort to watching grainy videos being taken in Smalltown, USA of our large adult son. During this MiLB season, he hit .381/.437/.636 against his peers. But you already know that. We’ve also gone over the fact that in addition to his otherworldly power, he exhibits a patience at the plate that his Hall of Fame father didn’t have, walking more than striking out (146 to 135) over his three seasons in the minors. When that call comes sometime in April next year, you can be sure that it’s going to signal the start of something special in this country.

What would you consider a good season for the rookie in 2019?

If the Steamer projections are any indication, odds are it blows your expectations out of the water.

Just because it’s custom to think of better times ahead during the offseason, and that nobody ever plans for rainy days, let’s play pretend. Steamer has Vlad Jr hitting .306/.368/.511 with 22 bombs, good for 4.7 wins. Extrapolate that to 600 plate appearances and his 5.1 WAR would rank him sixth in the entire league.

Yeah, these are just measly projections, but I still don’t think we’re ready for what’s going to hit us.

Looking past him, Steamer has Justin Smoak (114 projected wRC+) and Randal Grichuk (110 projected wRC+) giving us more of the same, even though I still think that’s a bit low for the latter. And holy shit, Danny Jansen being worth 2.2 WAR with above average offensive production? Sign me up!

Obviously take all of this with a grain of salt because life is shit wall to wall and the season is one long kick in the groin, but let’s just feel good for a minute, or at least until the Yankees inevitably sign Bryce Harper. Also, do yourself a favour and don’t look at the pitchers.